It’s March. And for those of us basketball junkies, that means it’s the most glorious month of the year.
March is filled with sneaker-squeaking, pizza-scarfing, mini-hoop jamming madness. It’s a time when we fill out brackets until the blood from our paper cuts advance to the Sweet 16. We place an inordinate amount of self-worth into our clicker skills, hear buzzers sounding in our sleep and showcase Usain Bolt speed in media timeout fridge runs.
In the NBA, March is a time when teams push for playoff positioning and LeBron James decides that the Heat are never going to lose again. But here at the Most Improved Player Rankings, we feel like the world’s greatest league misses out on all of the madness.
So, for the first time, we introduce to you the Most Improved Player Rankings Tournament. (I’m a genius. I know.) Drink it in. It always goes down smooth.
In an effort to save space (and sanity), we decided on a 32-player format: one for each of the 30 teams plus two at-large bids. Those went to Golden State’s Stephen Curry and Houston’s Chandler Parsons, who each posted several top-50 wins and have very low RPIs.
There will be upsets, buzzer-beaters and everything else that makes March Madness great. Except, you know, the actual games.
The regions are named after Most Improved Player greats of the past. The first week’s matchups are over, but you can vote on the second round by commenting. So print out your bracket, and let’s get to it! Most Improved Player Madness!!
DUCKWORTH REGION
1. Paul George, Indiana vs.
8. Isaiah Thomas, Sacramento
RECAP: Thomas has developed into a starter; he’s also known as the only guy on the Kings who actually gives a crap. George moves on.
4. J.R. Smith, New York vs.
5. Jeff Teague, Atlanta
RECAP: Teague is a sneaky choice here. You may remember that he went off in the playoffs last year, but his regular season numbers weren’t great. He’s averaging 7 assists in ’13, as opposed to 5 last season.
3. J.J. Hickson, Portland vs.
6. Jose Calderon, Detroit
RECAP: We have our first upset of the tournament as Calderon, who played just 14 games for the Pistons, stuns Hickson with a one-handed Spanish runner at the buzzer! You gotta love Most Improved Madness!
2. Larry Sanders, Milwaukee vs.
7. Derrick Williams, Minnesota
RECAP: Williams never had a chance. Nappy Gilmore swats his way into the second round.
BARROS REGION
1. Jrue Holiday, Philadelphia vs.
8. A.J. Price, Washington
RECAP: Price won the automatic bid from the Wizards, which is like being the SWAC champion. Holiday rolls here.
4. Serge Ibaka, Oklahoma City vs.
5. Kenneth Faried, Denver
RECAP: I-block-a has vastly improved his offensive game this season, and that’s why he gets past Faried in a tightly contested 4-5 matchup. The final score of this one was in the 40s, you can bet.
3. Tristan Thompson, Cleveland vs.
6. Danny Green, San Antonio
RECAP: Green won the Spurs’ automatic bid because he has started all 59 games this season, as opposed to the 38 he started last season. But Thompson cruises into Round 2 with a double-digit win.
2. Chandler Parsons, Houston vs.
7. Earl Clark, LA Lakers
RECAP: Any time you can go from resident bench warmer on the Magic to starter on the Lakers, you’ve got to be doing something right. Either that, or you’ve got an incompetent coach (COUGH) Mike D’Antoni (COUGH). Parsons and his Justin Bieber haircut move on.