The start of training camp is always a special time. Every team is undefeated and optimism fills the air. Players have been working out all summer with the anticipation of getting on with it. Many teams schedule special getaway experiences for team bonding and focus time. Two-a-day practices are hard enough without having to go home and deal with the kids and the house.
Pat Riley used to take the Lakers to Hawaii for training camp to get away from it all. The Denver Nuggets used to go to Alamosa and later Colorado Springs to train at 8,000 feet to really get in shape. Same for the Suns, who would leave cozy Phoenix and take a trip up to Flagstaff for some high altitude training.
When I was a young player for the Utah Jazz, they had a different idea. Frank Layden was the coach and general manager and had this notion (the only polite word I can think of) to make training camp travel so onerous that the regular season would seem easy.
Anyone who has followed an NBA season knows that it is filled with constant travel and sleep deprivation. What could possibly make that seem easy?
How about a 19-day preseason road trip to such hot spots as Marietta, Ohio, and Chattanooga, Tennessee? We traveled on planes that were so small that the in-flight meal was the airline captain pulling back a curtain and handing us a box of donuts. Really. We had to tell the airline staff our weight so they could seat us around the plane so we could fly level. Really. We had to crawl up the aisle to get to our seats because the cabin ceiling was so low. Really. Remember, this wasn’t a Division III school, this was the NBA.
In the early 1980s, the draft was 10 rounds, so we had a lot of rookies. Luckily, my first year we had so many rookies that the veterans ran out of things to do before they got to me, the first-round pick. It was very normal for a rook to get a call at midnight to go get some pizza. The next day it was to go to the laundromat and wash the practice gear. Now you know how the veterans kept their cars so clean.
The trainer had 10 minutes per player blocked out for taping ankles. It went in reverse order of seniority, so with 18 players in camp, the low draft picks had to be in the training room three hours before practice to get taped. That was twice a day. And if you were a minute late, there was some other diabolical fate awaiting you.
Our stop in Chattanooga was five days, and was it booorriiing. This was pre-internet, pre-video games, pre-cable TV, and even pre-multi screen theatres. We tried everything to kill time in the city. We already had been on the road for 11 days and used up every time-killer we had brought with us.
The first thing that we found that sounded remotely interesting was the Chattanooga Choo-Choo Museum. It boasted the largest miniature train set in the world, plus a vintage train exhibit. That managed to occupy us for about 75 minutes. Then it was back to the room. I must share with you that my roommate was Mark Eaton. We had 14-plus feet of player jammed into a double-double room. It was quite a sight.
After another day going stir crazy, we found about this attraction called Ruby Falls. It was billed as the Largest Underground Waterfall in America. While an underground waterfall sounds like an oxymoron, we were just desperate enough to give it a try. After all, the largest anything should be at least a little interesting, right?
We stuffed ourselves into a cab and Mark and I were off on this adventure. We arrived at the Lookout Mountain ticket office and paid our five bucks. The entrance was an elevator ride into the mountain. What they didn’t think to tell us was that to get to the actual falls, we had to walk three-quarters of a mile through a cave lined with bare bulbs hanging from a wire.
Part of the time-killing exercise was taking the stalagmite and geology tour on the way. Problem No. 1 was that the tunnel was over seven feet high about a third of the time. The rest of the trip was spent slouched over trying not to burn our heads on the light bulbs. Scraping body parts on protruding rocks also was a pretty common occurrence.
But at least they were interesting rocks.
Problem No. 2 was that the tunnel was only wide enough for one person. The way in was the way out. That means that every time you had to pass another group, it was like playing Twister trying to slide by each other while not getting burned or scratched. And yes, people were fat back then, so use your imagination.
After an hour we finally arrived at the Falls. We were now feeling the excitement. This had better be worth it! We entered a large cavern that was pitch black. It sounded like a guy peeing in a puddle. It surely was not getting confused with the roar of Niagara Falls.
Then the music starts and they hit the lights. “Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da” comes blaring out of a bad speaker. Then the lights come on fully and we see Ruby Falls in its full splendor. It’s a four-foot wide stream of water landing in a pool about 10 feet wide. It sounds like a man peeing in a puddle, because, well, it was about as impressive as a man peeing in a puddle.
Mark and I looked at each other with the “Is that it?” expression on our faces. Then it hits us. That’s not it.
We still have to walk three-quarters of a mile back to the elevator.
Of the 30 years of pro ball between us, Ruby Falls is among our most memorable NBA experiences. We still tell the story and laugh our heads off every time. Who needs dumb video games?
MORE FROM DANNY SCHAYES:
CAN CHRIS PAUL LEAD THE NBPA BACK FROM THE DEAD?
ADAM SILVER NEEDS TO EMBRACE THE NBA’S LIVING PIONEERS
THE FRANCHISE PLAYER IS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES
WHY THE CHAMPIONSHIP FORMULA ALWAYS WORKS (UNTIL IT DOESN’T)
HOW DO HEAT COMPARE TO GREATEST TEAMS EVER?
ON NBA COACH OF THE YEAR, AND COACHES IN GENERAL
Danny Schayes is a retired 18-year-veteran of the NBA, a professional broadcaster and aspiring author now penning NBA columns for SheridanHoops. Follow him on Twitter.