Which ‘Office’ character is each of the Most Improved Player candidates?

It’s part of my nightly routine.

First, I sit on the couch and watch hours of NBA basketball, blankly staring at the screen like a zombie or Kevin from The Office.

Then, after the final buzzer sounds on the last West Coast game, I flip over to channel 7 and zone out during a late-night mini-marathon of Kevin and all of his friends on The Office.

It’s gotten to the point where last night, I dreamt that Dwight crashed the Most Improved Player Rankings by going for 26 and 11 against the Clippers.

Still … it’s awesome.

And as Kevin might say, “Why not take two awesome things and make them into one???!”

It’s only fitting that one of the greatest sitcoms in television history be properly honored in this, one of the greatest columns in literary history.

So which office character most resembles each of our Most Improved Player candidates? Let’s find out.

Isaiah Thomas: Angela.

He’s short and quiet (he plays in Sacramento), and that pizza obsession is getting almost as strange as Angela’s cat obsession.

Second choice: Pam. Sorry, Isaiah, but I just see you as a receptionist. And apparently female. He can take this two ways: Pam was artistic, so maybe it’s like we’re saying that his game is artistic. Or maybe he’d just make a hilarious receptionist.

Lance Stephenson: Andy. If you need to know why, this is why. That’s the most Andy thing an NBA player has done since Russell Westbrook attended his first postgame press conference.

Second choice: Jim. Can’t you just picture Lance-a-lot burying Roy Hibbert’s stapler in a mound of Jell-O?

Anthony Davis: Creed. Only Creed would walk around with that thing above his eyes.

Second choice: There is none. Again, only CREED would walk around with that thing above his eyes!

Andre Drummond: Ryan. I’d like to think that he and Jeanette McCurdy were the Ryan and Kelly of the NBA. Not Ryan Kelly.

Second choice: Stanley. Because his free-throw shooting is on par with Stanley’s dribbling.

DeAndre Jordan: Darryl. His humor seems to be in line with Darryl’s. I can picture him getting Blake Griffin to speak in a ridiculously high voice for an informational video about printers. I can also see him doing this.

Second choice: Roy. Not sure why, but it just seems like DeAndre would be a warehouse guy.

Goran Dragic: Michael. He’s the surprising leader of a successful team, crashed Sheridan’s MVP Rankings like an uninvited guest, and completely screwed up our table this week.

Second choice: None. There’s only one Michael, and this season, there’s only one Goran Dragic. No matter how strange that sounds.

On to the rankings.