NBA Report Cards 2015: Central Division

Day 3 of our midsummer report card distribution process brings us to the Central Division, home of the Cleveland Cavaliers and owner Dan Gilbert, whose company, Quicken Loans, will soon be offering 24 percent mortgage rates in order to cover the boss’ luxury tax bill.

Just kidding. We think.

It has been a busy summer for the former top pizza deliveryman in Detroit. After watching his team lose to the Golden State Warriors in Games 4, 5 and 6 to surrender the NBA championship, Gilbert has been taking his sweet time making decisions on three players who had huge roles in the NBA Finals but would have been spending that series on the bench if injuries hadn’t decimated the roster.

Tristan Thompson, Matthew Dellavedova and J.R. Smith remain unsigned, all looking for more money than even Gilbert is willing to spend.

Thompson proved himself equally capable of grabbing a dozen offensive rebounds per 48 minutes and being able to shoot 10 percent from outside of 2 feet. Dellavedova proved two things: He is a pest who gets under players’ skin (just ask Al Horford and Kyle Korver) who is best utilized as a 10-minute per game energizer off the bench. Plug him in as a starter, though, and you’ll see a case study in how 10-minute players cannot be 40-minute players without either (a) stinking; or (b) ending up in the hospital from dehydration. Smith had a $6.7 million player option that he declined, proving once again that stupidity knows no bounds. He will be lucky to make that much money over the rest of his career, whether it’s in the NBA, China or Europe. In a decade, he can find work as a squeegee man.

All of those players would be worth bringing back at the right price, but with the Cavs’ payroll already at $99.9 million (counting the qualifying offers to Thompson and Dellavedova, and not counting the non-guaranteed $10.52 million owed to Brendan Haywood), Gilbert would be setting himself up for a luxury tax bill in the tens of millions of dollars if he gave Thompson, Delly and Smith what they are seeking.

Remember, folks, that those three players constituted half of the six-man rotation that the Cavs put on the floor during the Finals. And even if none of them were to return (Thompson and Dellavedova are restricted free agents and could very well sign offer sheets with other teams that Cleveland could decline to match), the Cavs still have more than enough to make it back to the Finals. There is a reason why they are 13-5 to win the title, and the next shortest odds are on the Chicago Bulls at 20-1.

The week ahead will determine whether Cleveland is able to offload Haywood’s contract to a team that would subsequently cut him. Only Portland and Philadelphia have the requisite cap space to take on Haywood’s deal, but neither of those teams has any incentive to do so. The one team that could use the financial relief from acquiring $10.5 million in non-guaranteed money – and cut its own luxury tax bill – is the Miami Heat. A deal sending Chris Andersen and Mario Chalmers to Cleveland for Haywood would lighten the tax load on Micky Arison’s wallet, but it would also sign, seal and deliver the East to the Cavs even more so than is already the case.

So as we begin Haywood Watch Week, let’s all remember that there are 82 regular season games between now and next spring, and then three rounds of playoffs in which three random teams will be sacrificial lambs at the altar of LeBron/Love/Irving. Thank goodness we have Daily Fantasy Sports to get us through this slog.

With that in mind, let’s move on to the grades. We’ll take the division alphabetically.

CHICAGO BULLS: ESPN/ABC is moving a bunch of Sunday games to Saturday nights, and Tom Thibodeau’s old team will most certainly be headlining some of that prime-time action, with Jeff Van Gundy providing color commentary. Brace yourself for some bitterness, because after the way Bulls management showed the door to Van Gundy cohort Thibodeau at the end of last season (security guards escorted Thibs to the exit after he cleaned out his office), we can all expect the WWL’s most bombastic voice — now that Bill Simmons is moving to HBO, and Colin Cowherd is moving to FOX — to tell us what bad people John Paxson and Gar Forman are. As far as the offseason goes, the Bulls kept intact a team that was a Pau Gasol injury away from perhaps putting a serious scare into the Cavs. Aside from rookie Bobby Portis, they have the same exact roster. They did what they needed to do, re-signing Jimmy Butler and Mike Dunleavy. GRADE: B.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS: If not for the infamous poolside chat between LeBron James and Kevin Love, this summer could have been a true disaster for the Cavs. But they have their big three locked up through the end of the decade (despite LeBron’s one-year opt-out), they kept Iman Shumpert at $10 million per season (much to the dismay of our managing editor) and added Mo Williams, who is twice the player that Dellavedova is and can probably shoot better from 3-point range in the postseason than J.R. Smith did. Add the fact that Cleveland appears set to bring in Sasha Kaun to further bolster its depth, along with the return of James Jones — the only member of the geriatrics whom David Blatt trusted in the playoffs — and we should be looking at a 60-65 win season. This team is an absolute beast. GRADE: B-plus.

DETROIT PISTONS: They are all in on Reggie Jackson, and they are going to have to give Andre Drummond a max extension, because max extensions are what 7-foot Team USA-worthy centers get. They brought in Ersan Ilyasova and Marcus Morris as a stretch-4 and a more conventional small forward than what they started last season with (good riddance, Greg Monroe). They also got Aron Baynes off the Spurs to add some depth at the center position along with Joel Anthony, but they are still very much a work in progress — at least until they can get a consistent 3-point shooter aside from Jodie Meeks, who is actually not all that consistent. (Maybe they play Jackson and Brandon Jennings together?) Bringing in Arn Tellem to assist Stan Van Gundy with further roster turnover will be especially helpful, but patience from the fan base is going to be needed. GRADE: B-minus.

INDIANA PACERS: They turned Roy Hibbert into Rakeem Christmas, which is actually better than turning him into a second-round draft pick, which is what they had done before moving that pick to Cleveland for the former Syracuse player. But they have lost David West, who saw no hope here and was not a big fan of team president Larry Bird’s post-season comments basically imploring Hibbert to opt out, and they will become a small ball team with Monta Ellis, Rodney Stuckey and George Hill manning the backcourt. Still, when Ian Mahinmi and Jordan Hill are your rim protectors and low-post scorers, you have a problem. We may have found the one non-Knicks cure for insomnia. Then again, maybe they can become the East version of Golden State. Time will tell. GRADE: C-minus.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS: Say this much about Jason Kidd: He’s come a long way since intentionally spilling that soda on the floor during the first few weeks of his coaching career in Brooklyn. For all his faults – and he certainly has many – the guy can get players to buy into his vision. When free agent Greg Monroe had a choice of George Webb’s or Carnegie Deli, he went with the 24-hour joint where breakfast anytime might set you back four bucks. Monroe’s choice of the Bucks over the Knicks showed just how down the entire NBA is on playing for Phil Jackson and James Dolan. Greivis Vazquez gives Milwaukee a point guard who may be a better fourth-quarter alternative to Michael Carter-Williams, and Kidd is in love with rookie Rashad Vaughn. Maxing Khris Middleton was a no-brainer, and the Greek Freak is my early choice for Most Improved Player. Grade: A.

TOMORROW: NORTHWEST DIVISION

PREVIOUSLY: ATLANTIC DIVISION | SOUTHEAST DIVISION

Chris Sheridan is publisher and editor-in-chief of SheridanHoops.com. Follow him on Twitter.