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Quote of the morning from David Stern

by

By Chris Sheridan

From NBA commissioner David Stern, via Associated Press writers Jaime Aron and Greg Beacham:

“The clock is ticking, but it hasn’t struck midnight yet,” he said. “We have time to do what has to be done and we’d like to do it, actually.”

In my view, the clock hasn’t even struck 11 o’clock yet. I still say the deal gets done sometime before or around Oct. 1, as I wrote in my debut column for this site less than two weeks ago, and the regular season starts on time Nov. 1.

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  107. The STAGES of BARGAINING

    Popular author Dan Jenkins’ legacy will surely be his insightful listing of the “Stages of Drunkenness” made famous by its prominent position behind the bar at an old New York City watering hole, called “Runyons.” The list went like this:

    1. Witty and charming
    2. Rich and powerful
    3. Philosophical
    4. Against the SST (later amended to against the DH)
    5. F#@& dinner
    6. Witty and Charming, Part II
    7. For the SST (for the Designated Hitter)
    8. Morose and despondent
    9. Invisible
    10. Bulletproof

    When the famed Runyons watering hole fell victim to slow times and bickering ownership, the list, which should have been etched in stone, was no longer in the public eye. However, it was later edited by Jenkins and included in his book, Baja Oklahoma. Here is the modified version:

    1. Witty and Charming
    2. Rich and Powerful
    3. Benevolent
    4. Clairvoyant
    5. F#@& Dinner
    6. Patriotic
    7. Crank up the Enola Gay
    8. Witty and Charming, Part II
    9. Invisible
    10. Bulletproof

    In these times of labor strife, uncertainty, layoffs and the potential for complete annihilation of NBA basketball, the stakes are very high and the progress is very slow. The situation needs description. So I give you, the “Ten Stages of Bargaining.”

    1. We want a fair deal
    2. Posturing and predicting
    3. Threatening decertification
    4. Opening the “books”
    5. Filing unfair labor claims with NLRB
    6. Cautious optimism and the first proposal
    7. Rejecting the proposal
    8. Running out of time
    9. Lockout
    10. Deal or No Deal?

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