Heisler’s Wednesday Power Rankings

Arf.

Thankfully, with compressed seasons, we get fewer Dog Days, the period between the trade deadline and the NCAA Finals when few people who aren’t in the NBA, covering the NBA or saddled with season tickets, pay any attention to the NBA.

With this season’s trade deadline 18 days after the All-Star Game instead of the usual four, the league has reaped the unintended benefit of cutting two weeks of Dog Days, which will be filled with trade rumors centering on Dwight Howard and Deron Williams.

If neither is likely to go anywhere before June, hey, it will keep everyone busy starting rumors, quashing everyone else’s rumors, etc.

This season’s Dog Days will thus run from March 16 to April 3, the day after the NCAA tourney, even if it starts winding down after the second-round games of March 19-20 cut the field from 65 to 16, terminating 90% of the office pools.

From April 3-26, we get the NBA’s big (yawn) finish, in which San Antonio coach Gregg Popovich may or may not play any of his starters.

For the big guys, there’s little at stake other than home-court advantage in the playoffs, which big guys don’t really need, even if it means a lot to the evenly-matched Heat and Bulls.

Otherwise, all that will remain to be settled is:

Can the Celtics make the playoffs so people can say they’re the team no one wants to play in the playoffs?

Can the Lakers, now No. 6 in the West, catch No. 4 Houston, to get home-court advantage for one round, anyway?

And just who is this Houston?

Who’s No. 8 in the West among the Trail Blazers, Nuggets and Timberwolves… and just who are the Timberwolves?

How many wins will it take to finish No. 8 in the East?

The Knicks and Celtics, both one game under .500, are now in a virtual tie for No. 7.

I predict both will finish over .500, meaning No. 9 Milwaukee (14-20) and No. 10 Cleveland (13-19) are bleep out of luck.

Of course, Miami and Chicago will then run them over like a steamroller, Linsanity and Celtic Mystique or no Linsanity/Celtic Mystique.

Thankfully, the playoffs will enable us to forget there ever was a season, condensed or otherwise… as we do every season.

So, however much of it we have to kill, time is once again on our side!

RANK	TEAM	THE RUNDOWN	LAST
1	HEAT (27-7)	LAST WEEK: 1-0  As usual, it’s defense plus superstars, not the other way around, as they go into break with eight wins in a row and 16 in 18 games, showing how they did it in 102-88 strangulation of “high-flying Knicks.”	1
2	THUNDER (27-7)	LAST WEEK: 2-0  If three scorers don’t sound like many, everyone’s lucky they don’t have four. Thunder is No. 3 in scoring at 102.7 a game, No. 2 in shooting at 47.5%, only No. 20 on defense, giving up 96.	2
3	BULLS (28-8)	LAST WEEK: 2-0   Dates to remember with Heat leading season series, 1-0: March 14 vs. Heat; April 12 vs. Heat; April 19, in Miami.	3
4	SPURS (24-10)	LAST WEEK: 1-0  Showing how much he’s worried about trying to catch the Thunder, Pop rests rests Timmy and Tony in 40-point loss at Portland that ends their 11-game winning streak.	4
5	MAGIC (22-13)	LAST WEEK: 1-1  The semi-miracle they pulled to do this well is nothing compared to what they’ll need from now til March 15 trade deadline with Dwight rumors everywhere.	5
6	PACERS (22-12)	LAST WEEK: 2-0  One star player from taking next step. If only they can get Eric Gordon, or revive Danny Granger, who’s about to make it three months in which he has shot under 40% three times.	8
7	CLIPPERS (20-12)	LAST WEEK: 1-1  If you put both local teams’ benches together, you still might not have one. With Lakers reserves No. 30 in scoring, Clipper reserves, who are No. 29, are outscored 164-68 as team loses three of four.	6
8	MAVERICKS (21-14)	LAST WEEK: 0-2 So much for “Khloe and Lamar Do Big D:” Lamar wants a buyout. Unfortunately, Mark Cuban’s not going to turn LO loose so he can can run back to Lakers (or Clippers, Thunder, Bulls or Heat) and resume his career.	7
9	SIXERS (21-14)	LAST WEEK: 0-4  18-7 start was a miracle. Losing seven of nine before the break with Elton Brand playing with a sore thumb, Hawes out and Andre Igoudala averaging 12 points and shooting 43% this season was to be expected.	9
10	GRIZZLIES (19-15)	LAST WEEK: 0-0  Zach Randolph reportedly one practice away from returning after 30-game absence, in which they exceeded all expectations, going 18-12.	11
12	ROCKETS (21-14)	LAST WEEK: 2-0 Stat-freak GM Morey once argued they were better when Battier guarded Kobe than when Kobe wasn’t in game, but he’s the one who got Lee, Patterson, Budinger, Dragic for bench that’s No. 7 in scoring.	12
13	LAKERS (20-14)	LAST WEEK: 1-1  Heat on its way to town for what would have been a marquee game, back when the Lakes were the Lakes.	10
13	HAWKS (20-14)	LAST WEEK: 1-1  Five losses in their last seven, Al Horford out and Joe Johnson, whose 17.6 points and 42.5% shooting are lows for his seven seasons there, is playing on a sore knee that forced him out of the last two games.	13
14	KNICKS (17-18)	LAST WEEK: 1-1 Now to see where sanity lies in “Linsanity bubble.” If he’s half as good as he was, they’ll be twice as good. Not that that’s setting bar so high, since they were 8-15 when all this started.	16
15	BLAZERS (18-16)	LAST WEEK: 0-0  Hoping against hope, Trail Blazers drop Armon Johnson to make room for Joel Przybilla, hanging onto Greg Oden, who just underwent yet another operation on his knee.	15
16	NUGGETS (18-17)	LAST WEEK: 0-2  Don’t look now: Just fell out of last playoff slot awaiting returns of Lawson, Gallo, Nene. Now Wilson Chandler may just be heading to Italy, seeking three-month deal to become unrestricted, which Nuggets say they won’t give him.	14
17	WOLVES (18-17)	LAST WEEK: 2-0  ESPN’s Hollinger, whose PER had “overhyped” Ricky Rubio No. 29–among point guards, trailing even Kemba Walker–may want to figure out how to factor in team’s record vs. last season’s 9-25, going 15-10 in his starts.	18
18	CELTICS (16-17)	LAST WEEK: 1-0  It’s not good when you’re anxious to bring in young players but can’t get into conversation for any of the big guys out there because no one wants any of your guys.	17
19	JAZZ (15-18)	LAST WEEK: 0-2  In the only good news for a while, someone named Jeremy Evens, who has played 89 minutes this season, wins dunk contest. Jazz then comes back from break to lose 11th of last 14.	19
20	CAVALIERS (13-19)	LAST WEEK: 0-2  Promising as he looks, they were hoping for more from athletic rookie Tristan Thompson, who gets his first two double-doubles, sandwiched around double-single with no points, seven rebounds.	20
20	WARRIORS (13-18)	LAST WEEK: 1-1  If trade deadline’s near, Monta must supposedly be going somewhere but if they’re worrying about playing two smurfs in one backcourt, Steph’s ankles—he tweaked one again in last game before break—keep it from happening too often.	22
22	SUNS (14-20)	LAST WEEK: 0-1 Steve Nash, upcoming free agent who could make a big difference for about 10 teams, says he’d like to sign another extension with Suns. No, I can’t account for it.	21
23	NETS (11-25)	LAST WEEK: 1-1 I had a nightmare in which I wrote there was no way Nets would let Brook Lopez play his first game in Orlando and ruin his trade value and they played him and he scored 17, then got 38 next time out. Oh, that wasn’t a dream?	25
24	BUCKS (13-21)	LAST WEEK: 0-2 Scott Skiles: “Realistically–and we’ve talked to the guys about it–we’ve got to exactly flip our record.” I can see why he’d like to win as often as they’ve been losing, but what’s the realistic part?	23
25	KINGS (12-22)	LAST WEEK: 2-0  Having tried everyone else alongside Tyreke Evans, Kings see 5-9 Isaiah Thomas, the last pick in 2011 draft, average 19 and shoot 51% in five starts, and they even win two of them.	27
26	PISTONS (11-25)	LAST WEEK: 0-2  Let’s see what you’ve got: Pistons who won seven of 11 after their 4-20 start, at home for six of next seven, starting with game in which 76ers squash them, 97-68.	24
27	HORNETS (7-25)	LAST WEEK: 2-2  Hornets have actually found some players in Jarrett Jack, Grevis Vasquez, Gustavo Ayon. If only David Stern had held out for someone they could keep for Chris Paul.	26
28	WIZARDS (7-27)	LAST WEEK: 0-3  Puts the K in Knuckleheads R Us: If you type “Javale” and “knucklehead” in Youtube search box, you get a compendium of his pratfalls.	28
29	RAPTORS (10-24)	LAST WEEK: 1-1  Bargnani, who has missed 21 games in which they’re 4-17, due back this week, even if anyone with the sense God gave a goose knows it’s time to tank for a high draft pick.	29
30	BOBCATS (4-28)	LAST WEEK: 0-1 Rod Higgins promises “no panic moves.” If they made one, how would we tell it from budget-slashing moves leading to exits of Raymond Felton, Gerald Wallace, Stephen Jackson, Tyson Chandler….	30