Welcome back to another edition of “As the Most Improved Player Rankings Turn.”
In this episode, old favorite Jimmy Butler has returned to the top after a stern challenge from Warriors guard Klay Thompson, who was coming in all hot after a 37-point quarter made him look as irresistible as 1999 Kelly Ripa.
But there’s a new harlot in town ready to grab everyone’s attention.
Miami’s Hassan Whiteside.
Ohhhhh yeahhhhhh.
Whiteside is looking like one of those girls on the Spanish soap operas (even hotter than Kelly Ripa), after he put up 16 points, grabbed 24 rebounds and pushed Chris Bosh around in a wheelchair like “Weekend at Bernie’s” in a 93-72 loss to the Mavericks on Friday. He followed that up with a solid 20 and 9 against the Celtics on Sunday.
Through Monday’s games, Whiteside had the second-highest Player Efficiency Rating in the league this season (27.98), trailing only Anthony Davis (32.07). The second-highest! He had 14 rebounds in the first eight minutes against the Mavs on Friday, and he’s making more of his time on the floor than David Hasselhoff on “The Young and the Restless.”
There are a lot of weeks left in this season, and a lot of sterling performances that may lift one player to the top in these rankings.
But for right now…we still love Jimmy Butler. We’ve always loved him.
Even when we cheated with Klay Thompson.
On to the rankings.
1. Jimmy Butler, G, Chicago Bulls: Jimmy went for 35 and seven rebounds on Thursday, although his team LOST TO THE LAKERS. Felt like that needed to be in all caps. He also put up 22, seven and four assists in a loss to the Suns. Sure, the Bulls are struggling, having lost three of four and nine of 16, but you can’t blame that on The Jimmy.
2. Hassan Whiteside, C, Miami Heat: He’s pushing for the top spot after a Tim Duncan-like week in which he 
grabbed 14 rebounds in one eight-minute stretch against the Mavs. You may have never heard of Whiteside, but if you follow the NBA (which we’re guessing you do unless you’re my mom–Hi mom!) you’ll start hearing about him now.
3. Klay Thompson, G, Golden State Warriors: He’s right in the thick of this race after scorching his way through an historic January at 25.9 points per game. After his ridiculous 52 against the Kings, Thompson put up two more 30-plus point games in a row. Gotta give Steph Curry a lot of credit for deferring to Thompson in his time of Larry Birdness.
4. Draymond Green, F, Golden State Warriors: Draymond just does whatever it takes for his team to win, whether it’s grabbing 11 rebounds in a 106-87 evisceration of the Suns, scoring 18 points in a 126-113 win over the Rockets, or dishing out 13 assists earlier this month in a 126-105 win over the Raptors. Whatever his offensive numbers, Green always plays defense. Tom Izzo has got to be beaming with pride.
5. Mason Plumlee, C, Brooklyn Nets: A run of four straight double-figure scoring games came to an end when Plumlee lost all muscle memory at the free throw line, going 3-for-10 in the Nets’ ugly win over the Clippers on Monday night. In January, the big man averaged 13.5 points, 7.3 rebounds and 1.1 blocks in 28.0 minutes. He was held to single digits just twice.
NEXT FIVE: Derrick Favors, F-C, Utah; Giannis Antetokounmpo, G-F, Milwaukee; Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, G, Detroit; Dennis Schroder, G, Atlanta; Marreese Speights, F-C, Golden State.
Kels Dayton is a freelance writer whose work has also appeared in SLAM Magazine. You can check out more of his work at RoundballDaily.com and SportzEdge.com. Follow him on Twitter @KelsDayton.